More Important Matters
by Maiden of the Blue Moon
Summary: A nice quiet lunch in the desert is somehow turned into a nightmare by the most horrible creature of them all...a pigeon. A silly drabble.


Disclaimer: We don't own Saiyuki. We wish we did but we just don't. Please don't sue us because we have no money, being college students and all.

Author Note: This is the product of me and my friends eating lunch outside one day and getting attcked by ravenous pidgeons on campus. It was kind of funny because my buddy Rei-chan, who's usually the Hakkai of the group, freaked because of them and started chasing them, screaming angrily. Oh of the birds zipped right by her head I suppose to exact its revenge. Then while she cursed them to bits and pieces, I being the happy go lucky monkey that I am, chased the birds screeching, "MWA HA HA HA! I'm gonna get you!" And this here funny story is the result of that incident. Enjoy.

More important Matters  
By Rei-chan and Maiden of the Blue Moon

Monday, July 5, 1:30 pm, somewhere in the desert. The Sanzo party has stopped to take their lunch break. Currently the group is quiet, considering that the priest had just unloaded his gun. The redhead quietly reached over to steal one of the monkey's potato chips and a violent flurry of activity erupted.  
"Oh boy," Chimed the green eyed man as if waiting for his cue.

As the two immature ones battled in the back seat the blond priest searched for more bullets. He was out. And then without warning or prior notification, a lone pigeon landed softly on Hakkai's head. The young man paused mid-bite and blinked. The commotion in the back seat has induced Sanzo to hit the others with anything in reach. Hakkai blinked again and looked around curiously. Then very slowly he looks up…and freaks out.

"BEGONE FOUL CREATURE! YARGH!" He shrieked, flailing madly as he fell out of the jeep.

His companions were caught off guard by the sudden outburst and immediately stopped their bickering to stare blankly at him as he screamed and rolled on the ground. The pigeon dislodged itself from his hair, leaving a sticky present behind. Hakkai cursed and began rubbing against the ground, screaming obscenities. Goku's curiosity was getting the better of him.

"DAMN YOU PIGEON!" Hakkai screamed kicking wildly at the air.  
"Uh…Hakkai?" Gojyo questioned, lifting his eyebrow  
"GAH! FILTHY! I'M FILTHY!" he wailed, almost in anguish as he rubbed more dirt on himself.  
"Get a hold of yourself." Sanzo commanded  
"MUST GET THE FILTH OFF! GET IT OFF!"  
"Hey it's just a stupid bird. What're ya gettin' so worked up for?" Goku asked. Hakkai stopped his antics and looked seriously at the boy.  
"My entire childhood was ruined by those God awful things. Every time I went outside their acrid filth would rain down on me! THE FILTH! I must be cleansed! I must clean away the filth!" He shrieked in rage and began to scrub his head against a rock. His monocle popped off in the midst of all the commotion and rolled against another rock where it caught the sunlight.  
"Uh… Okaaaay…" Goku and Gojyo muttered. Sanzo merely shook his head.

Then the pigeon landed on the remains of Hakkai's forgotten lunch and began to devour the spoils of its foul play (no pun intended). It was greedily downing the bread and potato chips when it noticed a shiny round circle glinting against a rock. It rose to the air and swooped, plucking up the precious piece of glass, much to Hakkai's mortification. It took off again.

"NO! Come back here with my monocle you stupid bird!"  
"Your monocle! That means you can't drive!" Gojyo exclaimed as he stumbled out of the jeep.  
"Don't worry. I'll get it!" Goku chimed brightly, springing over the water sprite's head. "Come here pigeon!"  
"NO! Don't go near it! It has the plague! I'm going to blast it to smithereens! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hakkai cackled maniacally. Goku fell to the ground as he was nearly burnt by a chi blast.  
"Holy smokes! Watch where you aim that thing!" he called  
"Coooo! Cooo! Coo!" the pigeon cooed angrily.

A swarm of his brethren mobbed the chi happy Hakkai and sent him into a frenzy. He ran to and from waving his arms and firing chi blasts in every direction. Sanzo hid in the jeep. Gojyo hid under the jeep and Goku was too busy chasing the first pigeon and giggling. Exhausted, Hakkai flopped on the ground and the pigeons advanced on him. Their leader decided to take refuge from his over enthusiastic pursuer atop Sanzo's head. Goku tackled the priest and the bird abandoned the monocle when he started shooting wildly but there was nowhere to hide and the bird was shot down. Goku however could be seen darting away from ricocheting bullets with an angry priest chasing him.

After things had calmed down a bit, Gojyo came out of hiding and scoured the ground for his friend's missing piece of eyewear. After it was recovered, he found Hakkai lying limp on the ground, covered in bird droppings and staring vacantly at the sky. The redhead nudged him with his foot to see if he was still alive. Hakkai gurgled and sputtered up white slime. (Ewwwww!) Gojyo cringed.

"Uh…if it helps…I found your monocle?" he offered, only to have the piece of corrective eyewear snatched from him by an enthusiastic monkey who should have been full of bullet holes.  
"I win! I got the monocle! Here you go Hakkai!"  
"Uh…thank you Goku…" Hakkai groaned, standing shakily. He replaced the slime-covered circle on the bridge of his nose and smile. "AH! HAHA! I do believe that I'm in need of a shower!" He chimed cordially. They all sweat-dropped. His smile widen, "But I suppose we should get to more important matters…like…KILLING ALL THOSE WINGED RATS!" everyone scooted away from him as an insane glint touched his features. They all stared fearfully. "What?" He asked with a completely innocent expression


End file.
